Do not get down on your self when you have a behavior of obsessing over crushes—Web page notes that we’re all inclined to it.
“Once we’re obsessive about someone, they grow to be the supply of our value and our lovability, so it turns into vastly vital to us,” he explains, including, “They have one thing, whether or not it is magnificence, or intelligence, or confidence, that we really feel we do not have, so we have to get their approval, their love, and their curiosity.”
And normally, Web page tells mindbodygreen, we wind up right here due to our distinctive “myths of misplaced love,” that are the myths we supply from our earliest years, after we did not obtain love the best way we felt we would have liked to from mother and father, caregivers, or the world.
Within the folks we obsess over, we’re looking for a strategy to show our value, to seek out that “misplaced love” we predict we do not have or by no means obtained, however it finally leaves us wanting, as a result of self-worth can solely be given to ourselves by ourselves.
And if it is any comfort, you’ll be able to, in a way, be “addicted,” or on the very least dependent, on an individual. In a single small 2010 examine, topics who had simply gone via a breakup however have been nonetheless in love confirmed simply how true that’s: Once they noticed photographs of their ex, the mind’s reward system launched dopamine, the neurotransmitter that performs a giant function within the early phases of affection and dependancy.
All that to say, obsession is actual, however so is recovering from it.